I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
