I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
The adults are the big ones right?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
