You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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