it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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