ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
God, you're like boner-b-gone
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
