Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
