We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
