I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Randomize
