If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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