I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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