I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i dont even know how to be here
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
