Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
