I want to stick my p in your. b.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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