My girlfriend figured out who you are.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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