Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
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