If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
