When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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