I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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