so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
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I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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