i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
