They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
