Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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