My nipple is on Facebook.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
My vagina just clenched in fear
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
