Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I'm passing your future prison.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
