did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Small penises have feelings too.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize