ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
