i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it