Texts From Last Night

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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me

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  (615): I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me http://tfl.nu/hl8u
  Replies (3) Good night (901) Bad night (1404)
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  (415): View more from California

  And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"

  (1-415): View more from California

  What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.

  (415): View more from California

  He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."

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  (415): And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!" (1-415): What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy. (415): He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie." http://tfl.nu/chbe
  Replies (27) Good night (1152) Bad night (9845)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  please come you make the beer taste better

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  (520): please come you make the beer taste better http://tfl.nu/dzlt
  Replies (16) Good night (4896) Bad night (745)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly

  (1-208): View more from Idaho

  What is a GED?

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  (208): Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly (1-208): What is a GED? http://tfl.nu/qgi3
  Replies (47) Good night (1084) Bad night (10021)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.

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  (406): I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name. http://tfl.nu/y6iz
  Replies (3) Good night (3175) Bad night (772)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.

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  (717): DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!! (717): Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly. http://tfl.nu/0dyl
  Replies (22) Good night (1602) Bad night (3435)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.

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  (248): Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market. http://tfl.nu/wxnm
  Replies (3) Good night (747) Bad night (1431)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.

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  (614): Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it. http://tfl.nu/r304
  Replies (4) Good night (2199) Bad night (543)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.

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  (914): I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all. http://tfl.nu/vbbe
  Replies (4) Good night (1708) Bad night (616)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter

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  (907): I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter http://tfl.nu/wvk4
  Replies (13) Good night (762) Bad night (643)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.

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  (801): You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age. http://tfl.nu/6o7l
  Replies (3) Good night (930) Bad night (369)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand

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  (443): Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand http://tfl.nu/0tkh
  Replies (4) Good night (395) Bad night (788)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.

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  (506): He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep. http://tfl.nu/ars8
  Replies (1) Good night (528) Bad night (443)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.

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  (847): I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards. http://tfl.nu/rmew
  Replies (0) Good night (557) Bad night (349)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.

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  (412): Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me. http://tfl.nu/4ot8
  Replies (3) Good night (319) Bad night (500)

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