...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
23 People Confess The Trashiest Thing They’ve Seen In Person
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
19 Transgender People Reveal The First Sign That They Were Trans
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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