Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  Swine flu. Run for my life!

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  (310) Swine flu. Run for my life! http://tfl.nu/6pt3
  Replies (3) Good night (844) Bad night (602)
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  (212): View more from New York

  I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.

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  (212): I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants. http://tfl.nu/n3gu
  Replies (50) Good night (5878) Bad night (1577)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.

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  (303): Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever. http://tfl.nu/ckan
  Replies (11) Good night (1512) Bad night (6564)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.

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  (973): So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on. http://tfl.nu/d9b8
  Replies (9) Good night (1427) Bad night (3868)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?

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  (913): I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name? http://tfl.nu/qxdg
  Replies (3) Good night (2876) Bad night (926)
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  (438): View more from Quebec

  I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.

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  (438): I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning. http://tfl.nu/ev9g
  Replies (15) Good night (3231) Bad night (1065)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....

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  (217): it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning.... http://tfl.nu/jakw
  Replies (5) Good night (2727) Bad night (1551)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow

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  (908): We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow http://tfl.nu/g44q
  Replies (2) Good night (1512) Bad night (816)
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  (631): View more from New York

  She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.

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  (631): She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink. http://tfl.nu/f50x
  Replies (20) Good night (1420) Bad night (590)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.

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  (713): So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink. http://tfl.nu/45mq
  Replies (4) Good night (1022) Bad night (663)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden

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  (201): we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden http://tfl.nu/jtve
  Replies (4) Good night (988) Bad night (499)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face

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  (703): there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face http://tfl.nu/al6a
  Replies (2) Good night (655) Bad night (492)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.

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  (850): Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts. http://tfl.nu/2gw3
  Replies (1) Good night (370) Bad night (453)
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  (925): View more from California

  Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...

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  (925): Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat... http://tfl.nu/8lha
  Replies (1) Good night (397) Bad night (528)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.

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  (206): Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer. http://tfl.nu/p121
  Replies (0) Good night (338) Bad night (456)

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