So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
