Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
