yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
