We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
