There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
