yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
My vagina just clenched in fear
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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