She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
