Come see our sink grown plant.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
