I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
