Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
