I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Randomize
