You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Randomize
