I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
