Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
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