It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
