So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
