If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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