he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
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