I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
sarcasm needs its own font
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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