you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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