I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
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