So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
