what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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