nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
