I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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