I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
