how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
