guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
