You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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