dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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