You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
