i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize