The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Randomize
