How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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