is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
