Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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