I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
