Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Im part way to drunk.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Randomize
