that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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