this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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